January 5, 2019

Welcome busy day at the main clinic.  It was nice.  I think being there one day a week will be good.  I can do the fast paced shit and have a good day and come home in a good mood.   Until my phone blows up in Target.  Give me time to get home people!  I had to run a couple of errands as I'm in the mindset of "Get the things done" and have no desire to fuck around.  I have to milk this.  I have to take advantage of it while it lasts.
Of course with Cat #7 on my lap right now it's impossible to pay attention to anything outside the realm of what I can reach.  Which is the computer...  and the joints...  but I'm good.  So I'm here.
Not sure where I am today overall.  Kind of blah.  I was so upset over the spousal unit's apparent lack of concern at the way I was feeling when he came home and immediately got on our son's case. 
I wish I could say it was new, but it seems that whenever he has a bad day he comes home and is a total dick to us.
I stressed out a little bit about money today.
Then I remembered something I read yesterday, something a friend posted in response to another friend's post regarding her recent over-spending on herself - which she rarely does.
He told her that money usually works itself out.
So I bought the $22 basket.
I have to go to the grocery store tomorrow instead of on Monday - which is my usual day.  I'm wondering if the folks at the store are worried about me.  I hope I see enough of them tomorrow that they can dispel any rumors that I seriously doubt are circling regarding my whereabouts. 
But it makes me feel good to think that someone notices my absence for the sheer absence of my sparkling personality rather than how well I can clean/fix something or what I can do for them to make their life easier.
I hate to say it.
But I'm gonna.
I'm sure a lot of women feel this way and that - is bullshit.
It is nice to feel valued, and I've actually felt that way at work.
I think because I had a big say in the schedule that is seeming to make everyone quite happy.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm fucking hallucinating and it really is the power of positive thinking.
If that's the case I'm still torn on the whole concept of distorting reality and I'll never be anything but skeptical of anyone's motives despite my outer contentment if not outright joy.
So yeah.  The cat is off my lap and doing his nightly "Whine While I Shit" so it's about to get stinky in here so I'm going to opt for the lesser of two evils and go do the dishes.