There's this annoying pattern I'm facing and I keep trying to break out of it... but I never really seem to be able to. Part of why I decided to create and make effort to maintain this blog is to help me break these habits that I don't want anymore... accountability, tracking, etc... also, sometimes articulating them makes them more real, increasing the reality makes beating them that much easier. Personal demons and all that.
Every week I spend my days off getting done ALL THE THINGS and when I go back to work on Wednesday I have this great sense of accomplishment. I'm going to keep up with all the things and do the minor daily maintenance so I don't fall behind. When my days off come around I'll only have to worry about the housework and some laundry-instead of all the laundry. I can spend some much needed time out in the yard and start getting the big things done, the little things that lead to the big things, I can pull this house together and start taking the images in my head and making them reality.
But then I spend the week getting further and further behind. With the eight hour work day and the being gone 11 hours a day for three days and then 9 hours on another day. The unhelpful husband who literally spends an entire day sitting around to the point of having a sore back... despite the glaringly sedentary life he already leads and the constant lamentation about his weight gain and the difficulties he's facing in trying to get the weight off.
It's Monday morning and the spawn is at school and I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee. I've been up for 2 hours and have plans to get much accomplished today in the hopes that I can spend a significant portion of tomorrow working on (and perhaps hopefully finishing) one of the ongoing craft projects.
However I'm rather limited on how much I can accomplish before the spousal unit arises. His alarm is set to go off in about nine minutes, but I'm sure he'll hit that snooze button repeatedly and wake up much closer to ten... then bitch about how he needs to get up earlier.
He loves to give me advice on how to deal with emotional and hormonal things he has never experienced... but when I try to give him advice on how to re-set his clock he blows me off. It's more than willpower - I've worked weird hour shifts for years at a time. I've had to re-set my clock three or four times (not counting college) and all the years we've been together he's had erratic sleep patterns... and I keep trying to explain to him that focusing on better sleep habits may be a better answer to his insomnia than this addiction to anti-depressants...
But what the fuck do I know?\
That aside I've learned from experience that if I get up and start making noise, turn up the music and get to work cleaning he'll wake up sooner than ten because the noise won't let him sleep.
It's retribution for all the mornings I can't get back to sleep because of his snoring. When you partially awaken to roll from one side to the other (four cats in bed-don't mess with them) it can be a bitch to slide back into deep sleep when your spouse is snoring right in your ear.
Enough bitching about the spouse, that could go on for hours and hours and hours but I love the son of a bitch so that's that.
The point I'm trying to make here is this: I'm going to bust my ass today doing all the things, and tomorrow I will hopefully have adequate time to devote to the next big thing on the big list and perhaps even take care of the secondary project list which is 5-15 minute tasks. I'd like to get these balls rolling... and not let them roll back down the hill every week when I go to work.
I've started doing the chores in the morning - but that really increases my morning crankiness. I fucking hate it. But I hate coming home after work, exhausted and hungry, just to spend another hour busting my ass before I can eat or even sit down. I keep reminding myself of this - and it's making the morning tasks easier. But I'm still not being consistent.
Laundry. I try to get it all done before I go to work so I can time and do loads during the week without letting it all build up again. But no. Even if I do the laundry it just sits in the dryer until I need the dryer and then I have a backlog of shit to fold and people are running out of things because I'm not putting laundry away. I know a lot of it is habit development... and I'm working on it.
One of my biggest peeves is that the boys will take a lazy day... and yet when I want a lazy day it's incredibly difficult unless my husband is occupied with friends or meetings. He has his lazy Saturday and then wants to do things on Sunday... spoiling my lazy day. Sunday is literally the only day that I don't have to wake up at six, and that's only provided I don't have anything going on. Superbowl parties, rounds at work, sometimes I get one Sunday a month - and I want to do NOTHING which he manages a couple times a fucking week... but I can't. I can barely take a nap that lasts longer than 45 minutes without being rudely awoken and then scolded for being pissed off about it.
I may use the vacuum this morning for more solid retribution.
Yesterday was fucking ridiculous.
Monday, February 13, 2017
Thursday, February 2, 2017
spousal unit bitch fest
There are a lot of things I hate talking to my husband about.
Generalized statements, or examples cannot be used.
You have to be specific and you can not use absolutes.
If you say, "You never put your shoes away." He looks at you, raises his eyebrow, and in an incredibly defensive tone says, "NEVER?" You literally have to come to him with fucking numbers... "Okay honey, in the last 58 days you have only put your shoes away twice... so it appears as though we have a shoe putting away problem that I'd like to address"
He thinks he knows what I'm going to say, and therefore does not wholly listen to me.
He will interrupt me to ask someone else a question and carry on a mini-conversation while I'm talking... and this is often done when I'm relaying important information or answering a question that he just asked.
Comparative analogy is completely lost on him. It's like he doesn't have a BA in English... or write for a living.
He interrupts me - constantly - yet is deeply offended when I interrupt him... even when he is taking an obscenely long pause in between his sentences. I am not the only person who notices his long pauses, many of his friends have commented on them as well. The problem I face is that he interrupted me and I'm going to forget what I wanted to say so as soon as I get an opening I shove it in there. When he gets mad and says he wasn't done, I tell him I wasn't done either and he should have let me finish before he started...
Deeply apologetic.
Which would mean a whole lot more if the disrespect weren't constant and completely unnoticed.
You'd think, all these years together and all these times I've called him out that he'd at least be putting some effort in, or that he'd have made some improvement... but nope. Not at all.
I, however, am growing less and less tolerant of it every day...
...and somehow this is starting to be a problem.
So he's in a work meeting in the dining room... even though he has an office in his man cave with a big fancy desk he bought that he never uses... and because he has to talk loud and our house is small... he may as well be here in the room with me. Gods forbid I get those dishes done... but yesterday he worked from home and when I came home from my late shift at work and stood there doing all the dishes he was super apologetic for not doing them... and tonight, when I was pissed off about something he had the gall to ask me if there was anything he could do to help... while I was standing in front of a sink full to the fucking brim with dirty dishes.
So yeah.
I'm just ready to have him not be in my presence for a couple of days while I work through the lovely perimenopausal PMDD symptoms and rampaging murderer and happy girl child. But he wants to get "frisky" tonight... like I'm a fucking puppy.
Generalized statements, or examples cannot be used.
You have to be specific and you can not use absolutes.
If you say, "You never put your shoes away." He looks at you, raises his eyebrow, and in an incredibly defensive tone says, "NEVER?" You literally have to come to him with fucking numbers... "Okay honey, in the last 58 days you have only put your shoes away twice... so it appears as though we have a shoe putting away problem that I'd like to address"
He thinks he knows what I'm going to say, and therefore does not wholly listen to me.
He will interrupt me to ask someone else a question and carry on a mini-conversation while I'm talking... and this is often done when I'm relaying important information or answering a question that he just asked.
Comparative analogy is completely lost on him. It's like he doesn't have a BA in English... or write for a living.
He interrupts me - constantly - yet is deeply offended when I interrupt him... even when he is taking an obscenely long pause in between his sentences. I am not the only person who notices his long pauses, many of his friends have commented on them as well. The problem I face is that he interrupted me and I'm going to forget what I wanted to say so as soon as I get an opening I shove it in there. When he gets mad and says he wasn't done, I tell him I wasn't done either and he should have let me finish before he started...
Deeply apologetic.
Which would mean a whole lot more if the disrespect weren't constant and completely unnoticed.
You'd think, all these years together and all these times I've called him out that he'd at least be putting some effort in, or that he'd have made some improvement... but nope. Not at all.
I, however, am growing less and less tolerant of it every day...
...and somehow this is starting to be a problem.
So he's in a work meeting in the dining room... even though he has an office in his man cave with a big fancy desk he bought that he never uses... and because he has to talk loud and our house is small... he may as well be here in the room with me. Gods forbid I get those dishes done... but yesterday he worked from home and when I came home from my late shift at work and stood there doing all the dishes he was super apologetic for not doing them... and tonight, when I was pissed off about something he had the gall to ask me if there was anything he could do to help... while I was standing in front of a sink full to the fucking brim with dirty dishes.
So yeah.
I'm just ready to have him not be in my presence for a couple of days while I work through the lovely perimenopausal PMDD symptoms and rampaging murderer and happy girl child. But he wants to get "frisky" tonight... like I'm a fucking puppy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)