I had today off work and the boy had the day off school. We stayed home today, didn't leave the house at all. I popped around and got some stuff done, read, watched my show... he played games, watched videos, played with his cat and overall we both had a very good day just hanging out at home in each other's company. Not interacting, just being together.
My husband no sooner came home than he asked the boy if he'd gone outside today. When he heard "No." he proceeded to give the boy a hard time for it.
Of course, the spouse and the boy were home all day yesterday and the spouse didn't take the boy outside yesterday...
Although he'll say it's not my fault or even my responsibility to get the boy outside he knows damn well that our son has never been the type of kid to go outside and play without friends coming and asking him, or an adult taking him outside and to the park, on a bike ride or on a walk.
So I tried to tell my husband that when he comes home acting like the boy not going outside all day is a bad thing... it makes me feel bad.
But he straight said that wasn't his concern, got super defensive and I had to immediately apologize and backpedal and blow it off like it was nothing claiming that I was having a hard time expressing myself adequately and he wasn't understanding and to please never mind and forget about it I would address it another time if I found a way to articulate myself better.
But I don't think I needed to do that.
I think my husband should have stopped, not gotten defensive and immediately understood that I was trying to approach it positively and tell him how it made me feel.
Instead.... when I have a day off and the boy has a day off I have to throw my plans and my desires out the window and make sure to take him outside for an hour or more for no reason other than to keep the fucking peace.
Never mind how many days my husband has been home with the boy while they've both been on break and how many days they didn't go outside... or how many Saturdays pass without them setting so much as a foot outside... hell, at least I take out the fucking garbage.
I'm so pissed off about it and I can't talk to my husband about it because he'll get defensive. It's not ME, it's THE BOY and how it's like pulling teeth to get him outside.
Outside on the busy street or three blocks away to the park?
Outside in the dirt patch we call a yard?
Outside to go hunt down other kids to play with like they're fucking Pokemon?
It's as though my husband has no concept of how the world works and thinks that our son is capable of going outside and transporting to the suburban neighborhoods we grew up in during the 80's.
But what really upset me today was that my husband didn't see how his behavior was affecting me and making me feel bad. Our son did not go outside. He did not express a desire to go outside. On a few occasions I considered asking him if he'd like to go for a walk or bike ride... but as I did not wish to and desired to do things around the house I did not. I didn't feel bad about that before, I felt quite content with our day... but I do now, and have since my husband came home.
I did not get done everything I had hoped to get done today.
If I had taken an hour out of my day to make my son run around outside I would have gotten even less done.
I'm frustrated with the spouse for other reasons - repeatedly putting the hammer into the toolbox instead of leaving it on the shelf.... telling me I don't have to pay him money every month for the mortgage and then coming around a week later and telling me to let him know what I can afford after I get a handle on my budget now that I'm working five less hours a week. Getting so fucking defensive every time I express an emotion other than happiness or gratitude and causing me to immediately backpedal, apologize and start in with the Shirley Temple routine. Coming home from work to eat and rush off to play Magic and then coming home from that and quickly talking to me while loading Fallout... headphones on before I even leave the room.
Yeah.
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