January 1, 2019

Although I don't make New Year Resolutions I do view a new year as new beginning and a chance to make improvements within my life.  Change habits, start new things and stuff like that.  I think many of us do. 

On that note I don't have particularly high hopes for 2019.  I've learned not to.  2016 sucked.  2017 wasn't much better.  2018 was bullshit and here we are...  again...  facing a new year and hoping for better.  Hoping for all the bad to take a back seat for a change.  We're only asking for 365 days that are a smattering of good but overall just a general "okay" would be fine. 

I'm not sure if this collective desperation for a good year is actually doing any good and perhaps we need to face that facts that the world isn't what we think it is and start taking a look at the bigger picture.  The key word here being "perspective" but I'll talk about that another time... and I'm sure I've talked about it before.  Just looking at it all differently and taking the time to understand what we don't experience or see can probably help us all to have a better year... and life in general.

But it's incredibly difficult for anyone to take that much effort for even an individual, let alone for most everyone they meet.
Even simplifications such as "remember everyone you meet is fighting a battle just like you" or just having someone remind you that the people you deal with are just that: people.  People just like you.  Tired, sore backs, shithead kids, asshole in-laws, lazy husbands, exhausted wives, lazy wives and exhausted husbands, workaholics, getting over an illness, grieving a loss, in depression, having a panic attack, worried about money, wondering when they'll get a vacation, missing their mom.

I think that remembering that will help me have better days and collectively those days will produce a better year. 
There are a lot of things I need to pursue in order to make my days better, and in making each day a step towards making the next day a better day I can hopefully come to the end of it and 365 days from now say that I had a good year.

For a moment I thought I had to be superstitious and, if this year also turns out to be generally crummy and an overall shitty year I would switch the type of calendar I buy for 2020.  But I looked back...  and I have had Star Trek Original Series calendars since 2015, and *that* wasn't a bad year overall.

So that's just fine.
Today was a usual New Year's Day. 
Slept in, drove my friend's husband insane with our constant chatter keeping them here until one in the afternoon.  Shirked my household duties, did evening rounds at the clinic and have had a cat on my lap for most of the last few hours.
I'm not so much ready for 2019 as ready for the holidays to be over so I can pack up the decorations, get the dead tree out of my house and move on with other things.