I feel such incredible rage at my husband that he can never fathom. I've tried to explain it to him, many times and in many ways. A few of our friends have even talked to him about it... without any influence from me. In fact, I heard about these conversations after the fact, from my husband, followed by dozens of empty promises. I know this rage is nothing strange or new or even remarkable. In fact, it's felt by significant others across the country and there are memes, articles, and even stupid videos about magic coffee tables all mocking it.
The simple phenomenon known as lazy husband syndrome.
It affects women as well. I recognize this. But let's be honest... most sufferers are heterosexual men.
By the time he gets out of bed... I'm already at work.
By the time I get home from work... he's already been home for at least 30 minutes.
He has a few responsibilities... mainly - heat up the dinner I already pre-made and follow the instructions fit for a five year old that I've left boldly written upon the kitchen cabinet in bright orange.
By the time I get home I've been gone for over 10 hours.
I have anxiety that spikes when I drive or when I'm away from home for more than a couple of hours.
But I walk in the door and it's immediate chatter while I run around and do all the chores.
I make the bed.
Sweep the floors and re-fresh the cat's water bowls.
I scoop the cat boxes, take out the trash, empty the recycling and, if necessary, start the laundry.
I put away anything I picked up at lunch or on my way home.
Take care of the notes and other reminders that have manifested themselves as scraps of paper in my pockets.
Go over my calendar and to-do list for that day and the next.
Possibly eat my dinner.
Get the kid situated and into bed at the appropriate time.
Then I can probably relax but I might have another fifteen or twenty minutes worth of shit to take care of.
What has the spousal unit been doing this whole time?
Playing a video game or watching a ball game.
Currently it's basketball.
I don't like basketball... but I get constant updates on how the game is going while I'm doing my chores and any request that this constant interruption cease is met with immediate anger because he's just trying to keep me updated on what's going on.
The concept of, "If I cared I'd put effort into watching the game." seems to be lost on him... but if I cared I'd fucking watch the game and do my chores during the commercials... like I do April through fucking October.
Enough already.
By the time the babbling is done and the chores are done and I can finally sit down... there are nights relaxation eludes me. My concentration is constantly broken and I'm forced to pause my show every five to ten minutes while I'm reminded of something, asked something, an anecdote is shared... and then there's the wonder... "Why am I so irritated?"
I'm fucking irritated because you've been sitting on your ass all evening while I busted mine after an 8 or 9 hour shift and an 45 minutes in hellish traffic. The chatting during the chores wasn't enough and the moment I sit down, snuggle up and get comfy you're in here bugging the shit out of me... and the worst part is? It's either super important shit that should have been brought up earlier (before I got high as a kite) or it's stupid ass shit that is being shared so the speaker can hear the sound of his own voice.
I'm fucking so irritated right now and I just remembered that I have to catch up on my shows on Hulu... I wonder how many new episodes there are...
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