On Sunday the spousal unit took the boy to his monthly LARP. It had been awhile since they'd gone, it's one of the few social things the boy willingly does and I'm glad he had his interest re-sparked when he participated in a huge LARP at the last convention. On Sunday they learned that this week there was a week-long camp. So the boy signed up. Yesterday I had my first real day alone since summer vacation started. I cleaned the house, did most of the laundry and a friend came over for dinner to hang out and spend some time with our oldest cat. Number Three will be crossing the Rainbow Bridge in a few days. His osteoarthritis has resulted in fractures in both hind legs. Degenerative Joint Disease means these bones are simply disintegrating, becoming weaker and weaker. These fractures will never heal, and eventually he will snap a bone instead of simply cracking it. Once I confirmed the second break, with two doctors examining Number Three, I determined that when his food was gone I would schedule his euthanasia. Well, he's almost out of food. It's Tuesday... I'm figuring Sunday or Monday. Number Three is fifteen-years-old. I've had him since he was 5 weeks old... he's been in my life longer than I've known my husband. My heart is breaking, but he's been living in this pain for over two years. I can't run the risk of him truly snapping a limb, not when I can prevent him having to experience that. My heart is breaking.
Today I have a whole list of things to do. Rather reasonable list and something I can easily accomplish within a couple of hours or so. I should really get up and get to work but my motivation has gone off with the boys. I managed a pancake for the Spawn, made sure he had everything he needs for the day and kissed them before waving forlornly as they pulled out of the driveway. As much as I cherish my time alone I get lonely and start to miss the boy. Over the holiday they were both home, we had things going on, the boy spent Tuesday with his grandmother and I didn't see him again until late Wednesday, then had early mornings on Thursday and Friday - was exhausted and barely spent time with him either day - Saturday we hung out a bit but Sunday he was gone all day, yesterday he was gone all day... gone all day today and tomorrow I'm back at work.
It's weird how much I miss him when we're not together. I dread the increase in time apart as he gets older. I wonder if it will hurt less or if I'll just get used to it?
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