Friday, November 3, 2017

depression fucking sucks

I read a lot of bullshit on the internet.
I don't know why.
It's entertaining but essentially useless.
Brides tell the how they were left at the alter.
Retail workers share their worst customers.
I eat this shit up and I know damn well that I'm doing it to avoid the things I should be doing...  in some cases I get so caught up in Ask Amy and Miss Manners clicking from page to page and cussing out ad after ad when I honestly just want to read my book.
So why don't I open the book?
It's right there.
Right next to me.
Instead I get pissed off about the people who can't seem to deal with a co-worker who won't stop drinking their beverages.  I get irritated at the guy whose fiance wants more time to plan their wedding and isn't willing to consider a short engagement...  when the dude's mom is fucking dieing.  Dump. Her. Now.
An hour goes by and I realize I haven't eaten dinner, I haven't done my chores and now I don't have time to read, or watch my shows, or work on any of the projects I have piling around me... mocking me.

I do this to avoid...  But why do I avoid the pleasure of reading for a little before dinner?  Why do I skip dinner so I can do my chores?  Why do I go to bed hungry and unsatisfied because I never took the time to watch one of my shows...  even though when I got home from work I had plenty of time to get everything done...

No comments:

Post a Comment