There's this annoying pattern I'm facing and I keep trying to break out of it... but I never really seem to be able to. Part of why I decided to create and make effort to maintain this blog is to help me break these habits that I don't want anymore... accountability, tracking, etc... also, sometimes articulating them makes them more real, increasing the reality makes beating them that much easier. Personal demons and all that.
Every week I spend my days off getting done ALL THE THINGS and when I go back to work on Wednesday I have this great sense of accomplishment. I'm going to keep up with all the things and do the minor daily maintenance so I don't fall behind. When my days off come around I'll only have to worry about the housework and some laundry-instead of all the laundry. I can spend some much needed time out in the yard and start getting the big things done, the little things that lead to the big things, I can pull this house together and start taking the images in my head and making them reality.
But then I spend the week getting further and further behind. With the eight hour work day and the being gone 11 hours a day for three days and then 9 hours on another day. The unhelpful husband who literally spends an entire day sitting around to the point of having a sore back... despite the glaringly sedentary life he already leads and the constant lamentation about his weight gain and the difficulties he's facing in trying to get the weight off.
It's Monday morning and the spawn is at school and I'm sitting here with my second cup of coffee. I've been up for 2 hours and have plans to get much accomplished today in the hopes that I can spend a significant portion of tomorrow working on (and perhaps hopefully finishing) one of the ongoing craft projects.
However I'm rather limited on how much I can accomplish before the spousal unit arises. His alarm is set to go off in about nine minutes, but I'm sure he'll hit that snooze button repeatedly and wake up much closer to ten... then bitch about how he needs to get up earlier.
He loves to give me advice on how to deal with emotional and hormonal things he has never experienced... but when I try to give him advice on how to re-set his clock he blows me off. It's more than willpower - I've worked weird hour shifts for years at a time. I've had to re-set my clock three or four times (not counting college) and all the years we've been together he's had erratic sleep patterns... and I keep trying to explain to him that focusing on better sleep habits may be a better answer to his insomnia than this addiction to anti-depressants...
But what the fuck do I know?\
That aside I've learned from experience that if I get up and start making noise, turn up the music and get to work cleaning he'll wake up sooner than ten because the noise won't let him sleep.
It's retribution for all the mornings I can't get back to sleep because of his snoring. When you partially awaken to roll from one side to the other (four cats in bed-don't mess with them) it can be a bitch to slide back into deep sleep when your spouse is snoring right in your ear.
Enough bitching about the spouse, that could go on for hours and hours and hours but I love the son of a bitch so that's that.
The point I'm trying to make here is this: I'm going to bust my ass today doing all the things, and tomorrow I will hopefully have adequate time to devote to the next big thing on the big list and perhaps even take care of the secondary project list which is 5-15 minute tasks. I'd like to get these balls rolling... and not let them roll back down the hill every week when I go to work.
I've started doing the chores in the morning - but that really increases my morning crankiness. I fucking hate it. But I hate coming home after work, exhausted and hungry, just to spend another hour busting my ass before I can eat or even sit down. I keep reminding myself of this - and it's making the morning tasks easier. But I'm still not being consistent.
Laundry. I try to get it all done before I go to work so I can time and do loads during the week without letting it all build up again. But no. Even if I do the laundry it just sits in the dryer until I need the dryer and then I have a backlog of shit to fold and people are running out of things because I'm not putting laundry away. I know a lot of it is habit development... and I'm working on it.
One of my biggest peeves is that the boys will take a lazy day... and yet when I want a lazy day it's incredibly difficult unless my husband is occupied with friends or meetings. He has his lazy Saturday and then wants to do things on Sunday... spoiling my lazy day. Sunday is literally the only day that I don't have to wake up at six, and that's only provided I don't have anything going on. Superbowl parties, rounds at work, sometimes I get one Sunday a month - and I want to do NOTHING which he manages a couple times a fucking week... but I can't. I can barely take a nap that lasts longer than 45 minutes without being rudely awoken and then scolded for being pissed off about it.
I may use the vacuum this morning for more solid retribution.
Yesterday was fucking ridiculous.
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